The Internet is Terrible Sometimes the internet changes a man.

23Mar/0922

I think my dick my might be bent, you should help.

Thanks to thatsmaddecent on twitter, who's dick always need "massaged"

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Comments (22) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Should someone call child protection services?

  2. i’m hard

  3. In Alabama they call this type of shit foreplay.

  4. Very nice work, internet.

  5. i almost puked all over myself.

  6. Torture indeed. Oh mom.

  7. Oh fuck, I read this during class and tried not to laugh. Also, are we sure that this is his mom and not his dad?

  8. Please take this down. My mom said she wouldn’t tell anyone. I’m so embarrassed. I bet she also told you about how we cover the area with iodine, stand me on my head, paint my balls to look like eyeballs, and she plays with my erect j-shaped penis and does a gonzo impersonation. Sniff.

  9. I’m not entirely sure this isn’t some 17 year old dude getting a laugh.

  10. I mean come on… Horseshoe penis?

  11. Probably hidden troll, but still, the guy at the end of the post summed it up pretty well ^_^;

  12. Hahahaha. Haha. “Moooom, I can’t jerk myself off! You have to do it for meeee! Come on, mooom!”

    This reminds me of the Strippersons.

  13. OMG that happened to me too…

    …but with your mom

  14. obvious troll is obvious
    made me lol, though.

  15. you know the guy’s mom must REALLY love him enough to sign up for tantric massage classes just to help out his J-rod

  16. omg i read this in class, how awkward.

    i really hope this is a troll post

  17. i feel sorry for the housemate who had to move out – imagine how uncomfortable they felt knowing that was going on in the next room!

  18. Saw this at Viceland.com

  19. I got a laugh out of this one. My favorite part was the excuse as to why he couldn’t do it himself. Hey, too bad the roommate left. He could’ve had a 3some 3 days a week.

    Obviously fake, but when you think about how screwed up people are, I’m sure it’s happening fairly often.

  20. “In the beginning his penis was like a horseshoe in the tip…” lol
    and
    “that made me hard.”

    lol.

    great lines. this seems pretty clearly fake to me. no one writing this from a serious parental point of view would focus that much on the orgasms/ejaculations. enjoyable read nonetheless.

  21. You do know that person is only a perverted troll that gets off on incest stories right? That shit isn’t funny enough to be on here. It’s quite sick.
    It was probably some naked 60 year man on a parenting board stroking himself to breastfeeding moms. Ew.

  22. that made me hard 4 real no joke i got to go hump something now


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