Turn up your speakers



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47 Responses to “Turn up your speakers”

  1. JoshuaZed

    I will never eat Pizza Rolls again.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 9:55 am
  2. Dr. Philip Herbut

    I challenge him to find his own penis in less then five minutes.

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 9:58 am
  3. Dr. Philip Herbut

    btw, all that heavy breathing gave me a boner.

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 9:59 am
  4. Wilika

    OMG, He can’t even breathe o_O

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 10:06 am
  5. snuggly thug

    ugh, his breathing and that camera angle…i mean, did he even preview this vidjoe before posting it?! this is what’s wrong with america.

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 10:25 am
  6. Oswald

    I couldn’t stop staring into his eyes.

    They go glassy with pleasure at about #20 and by #34 it’s like a foodgasm in those beady orbs.

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 10:45 am
  7. Hobo Jojo

    I actually feel sorry for him. Sort of. I mean…. he knowingly recorded this and posted it on the internet. For people to see.

    What is wrong with people?

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 10:51 am
  8. mickyb

    i’ve got a semi lob

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 10:57 am
  9. stef

    That is why you have four chins, while normal civilized people have one.

    Also, I’m loving that he chased that fiasco with a bitch drink.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 11:19 am
  10. Lizface

    I think this is the closest I’m going to get to actually seeing a pig, in a t-shirt, eating junk food.

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 11:26 am
  11. eleigh

    My favorite part is the Smirnoff Twist at the end. So subtle.

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 11:29 am
  12. Captain Howdy

    5/5. A beautiful touching film

    We open with a camera angle that distorts our perception of the world. His breathing is heavy and labored with the challenge that he has set forth. However, we are soon brought into a nightmarish world of terror and torture as we watch him endure the hardships of eating 40 pizza rolls in under 2 minutes. We can see the physical and psycological strain that he is undergoing and watch in awe and shock as we empathize with his pain. While watching, we are forced to ask ourselves so many questions about his holy crusade…will he achieve his goal? Will he redeem himself and bring glory to his family name? What will happen if he fails? Will he hang his head and walk into the barren wastes? As his breathing becomes more and more labored, we feel his pain, his burden, his curse. He lets out a sigh, pausing briefly, and continues to fight his way through this scourge. Beads of sweat break across his forehead and his eyes widen with the realization that he may fall in battle. This may be where he dies…

    He lets out a soft “oh no…” and continues on. He knows he can achieve…he knows. He proudly declares “5 left!” as the roar of his onlookers cheer and raise him up into the heavens. He is almost there…he has almost…

    He has done it! The guantlet was laid down and he has defeated it! He boasts “If there are any other challenges you curs think can lay me to rest, bring them forth. I shall defeat them all!” before taking a refreshing sip of his favorite ale and going to find a woman to bury the sorrow and pain of his past into.

    tldr; he’s got some big ol’ titties

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
  13. Kaz

    All I can feel is HAAAAAAAAAAAATE.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
  14. Cooper

    Is he attempting suicide? Maybe to either choke, or give that final kick to his heart for a coronary?

    I couldn’t watch…. fat people disgust me. LOOSE SOME WEIGHT

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
  15. zangief

    Explosive diarrhea ensues…

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
  16. Raisins

    @ch that is amazing

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
  17. wat

    CHRIST. I keep sending letters to Congress, but they refuse to pass a bill that requires a license to own a camera.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
  18. drunkula

    man, i meant to forward this weeks ago. damn!

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
  19. Tala

    Yeah, not try going on a diet.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
  20. Tala

    *Now

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
  21. Crizum

    This is a well done L4D cosplay, now we just need to find him a Smoker and a Hunter.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
  22. Sanchez

    I kinda feel bad for this dude.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
  23. Lola

    Hey, guys. What’d I mi– OH MY GOD NO

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
  24. Let's

    i don’t know how he managed that feat when he was out of breath after the first 10 seconds.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
  25. Batman

    Holy pizza rolls, Batman!

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
  26. Chojin

    I think just the thought of chewing winded him.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
  27. hrr

    God bless America!

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
  28. sourball

    sweet, now i have this bookmarked, for whenever i am tempted to eat more than 300 calories a day

    kills the appetite

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
  29. Jerk Face

    I just pooped my pants.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
  30. rafael

    i suddenyl feel hungry. i’m not even kidding.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 14th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
  31. zee

    yeah, Im a little hungry too. Wierd.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 15th, 2009 at 2:51 am
  32. emaN

    I knew I shouldn’t get on the Internet is Terrible at six in the morning.
    My day is now ruined.
    And I will never eat Pizza Rolls the same way again.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 15th, 2009 at 6:09 am
  33. Nigger

    I find this video offensive.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 15th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
  34. Lola

    Guys, what’s it like to be fat? I think I would kill myself if I had to go around encased in a jiggling prison of lard.

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 16th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
  35. Nino

    Gross!

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 16th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
  36. Stark

    Oh..My..GOD! That was utterly disgusting. The sounds of his chewing made me want to vomit. He can’t breathe, he just wants views on youtube.. why do people do this to themselves? I mean I don’t mind cause it’s entertaining.. but JEBUS!

    I’m never eating pizza rolls again ever.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 16th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
  37. Lola

    You know they come in bags of 90, too. Fuck, I’m gonna go eat some pizza rolls RIGHT NOW. But I promise you it will take me much longer to eat way fewer.

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 16th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
  38. Mars

    I tapped out at twenty seconds. Couldn’t do it. Two rolls in and I’m ready to puke. Good God, if this is modern insanity what’s tomorrow bring? I’m beginning to understand why old folks never leave their homes.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 17th, 2009 at 1:46 am
  39. lolwut

    Does it look like “Tum up the volume” to anyone else? I thought for a solid minute how you get a typo by replacing rn with m or what Tums have to do with your volume.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 17th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
  40. Tammy

    i dont think i ever want to eat again. ;__;

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 19th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
  41. angeljesso

    I couldn’t watch all of this, I skipped to the end. The heavy breathing, the angle…it felt like I had had one too many tequila shots and woke up to THAT on top of me. Ick. I should watch this before going out and I’ll never have a one night stand again. And those rolls were super greasy looking. I was really worried he was going to puke on the camera, but then I thought, he wouldn’t puke and then post, right? We may never know….

    Current score: 0

    posted on:April 19th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
  42. Obnob

    THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

    Current score: 1

    posted on:April 23rd, 2009 at 7:19 pm
  43. Carmen

    I’m pretty sure i just died inside.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:February 26th, 2010 at 1:51 am
  44. Carmen

    also, IS IT FUCKING NECESSARY TO BREATHE THAT MUCH? no.

    Current score: 0

    posted on:February 26th, 2010 at 1:52 am
  45. Cassie

    i threw up…and not just like kind of a little in my mouth. i mean i genuinely threw up. why the FUCK would you do this!!??

    Current score: 0

    posted on:March 16th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
  46. Cassie

    oh and …. YOU LOST BITCH!!! and not just because you didn’t finish your “challenge” but because you finished it off with a smirnoff!

    Current score: 0

    posted on:March 16th, 2010 at 11:58 pm
  47. sweetestsadist

    Somebody needs to sync this with Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA”

    Current score: 1

    posted on:July 8th, 2011 at 6:57 pm

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