I’m sure that pretty much every guy fondly remembers his first experiences physically with women, except for gay men I guess, but this is way over the edge. If you’re missing the excitement the answer is not to have a big fucking circle jerk with dudes you met on the internet while you stare at each others’ dicks. You ask your wife to change her hair style. You buy her something sexy. You watch some crazy ass porn together and then mimic the video. But this? What the FUCK? He should be happy his wife didn’t projectile vomit on impact of this graphic display of borderline homosexual perversion!
Just when you thought you’d heard everything… Even seeing a woman insert a live squid into her vagina is less bizarre than this.
I think the most important thing here is getting Peepoop Patel over to this site. We must welcome our brothers with open arms (followed by a game of Super Bomberman and a soggy waffle contest).
It’s like Disney World, with dicks and cum.
Sounds pretttttty sweet if you ask me.
The wife should just get in on it and play the role of “alcoholic loveless marriage mom who enters the room at awkward moments and gropes youthful muscles giving awkward boners that need to be taken care of”
Here’s some advice: If you are ever caught masturbating by anyone ever; be it your mom, wife, uncle, whatever, don’t stop. Just act like it’s a normal thing. If they say something to you, stand up, turn to them, acknowledge them with a polite response, but DO NOT STOP. Keep going. They won’t know what to do. They want to yell at you, but then again, who wants to say anything to someone jerking off in your presence.
Ummm… Maybe don’t do this if your kids catch you. You could go to jail for that. But any adult, just remember: keep going.
Jesus, what’s the big deal? Just a normal guy getting together with some internet buds to jerk off to porn together. They never touch dicks or nothing. You guys are racists!
I don’t see what the big deal is. As it’s described, it’s entirely innocent. Just guys having fun, and no more extraordinary than my twice weekly meetups with good buds I meet on the internet, where I *** their ***s, while they *** my ***, and, with any luck, some other random dude *** to both of us, until we all collapse into a *** covered mass of writhing *** and ***s. Of course, it’s all a big put on, and we all have a good laugh. Ha Ha Ha. What a hoot!
October 28th, 2009 - 13:57
Great… So does this mean that we won’t be having any more jerk off parties?
October 28th, 2009 - 14:25
Annie is my hero!
October 28th, 2009 - 14:31
Why isn’t “NIGGER BONERS” in the tags? It fits.
Anyway, he sounds like it wouldn’t be weird to catch a bunch of fat guys in my living room jerking off. Yeah. Nothing odd about that. Nope.
Good lord, how did he get married?
October 28th, 2009 - 14:41
wat
October 28th, 2009 - 14:59
I think I’m going to have to go with the comments from Peepoop Patel on this one.
October 28th, 2009 - 15:41
I like that the user “Sicko” is calling him sick, very sick.
AWESOME.
October 28th, 2009 - 15:45
Annie looks like a fox.
October 28th, 2009 - 15:57
is it just me, or does pretending he and his “friends” are 11 add a paedophilic twist to the whole bloody, tragic, insane train wreck?
October 28th, 2009 - 16:24
“Ejaculation catchphrase” needs to be a tag for this.
October 28th, 2009 - 16:25
I’m sure that pretty much every guy fondly remembers his first experiences physically with women, except for gay men I guess, but this is way over the edge. If you’re missing the excitement the answer is not to have a big fucking circle jerk with dudes you met on the internet while you stare at each others’ dicks. You ask your wife to change her hair style. You buy her something sexy. You watch some crazy ass porn together and then mimic the video. But this? What the FUCK? He should be happy his wife didn’t projectile vomit on impact of this graphic display of borderline homosexual perversion!
Just when you thought you’d heard everything… Even seeing a woman insert a live squid into her vagina is less bizarre than this.
October 28th, 2009 - 17:27
I think the most important thing here is getting Peepoop Patel over to this site. We must welcome our brothers with open arms (followed by a game of Super Bomberman and a soggy waffle contest).
October 28th, 2009 - 17:36
What a weirdo. I’m sure a good knuckle sandwich from his wife would fix his fetish.
October 28th, 2009 - 18:50
Love that he stars out “cum” but nothing else.
October 28th, 2009 - 19:38
Hey, my suggestion was taken! :D
Also, looking back on this, I think if my friends had this idea, I’d stop hanging out with them. Forever.
Finally, how did his friends feel when she walked in? How did they feel when they were all masturbating AT THE SAME TIME NEXT TO EACH OTHER?
Christ, I feel dumber knowing some people thought this was a good idea.
October 28th, 2009 - 19:39
Oh, I KNEW I was forgetting about the comments. Patel made me laugh so very hard.
October 29th, 2009 - 01:22
It’s like Disney World, with dicks and cum.
Sounds pretttttty sweet if you ask me.
The wife should just get in on it and play the role of “alcoholic loveless marriage mom who enters the room at awkward moments and gropes youthful muscles giving awkward boners that need to be taken care of”
October 29th, 2009 - 07:45
The fact that poor annie had to pause from her knitting and old ladying to read that and reply makes me die inside.
October 29th, 2009 - 11:14
I just thought of something. I wonder if any of them came when they saw his wife?
October 29th, 2009 - 15:39
@Lily Liver: I agree. She needs to make those boys into men.
October 29th, 2009 - 16:50
I think Annie wants him to be 10 years old….. granny pedophiles are the worst kind.
October 30th, 2009 - 11:48
Here’s some advice: If you are ever caught masturbating by anyone ever; be it your mom, wife, uncle, whatever, don’t stop. Just act like it’s a normal thing. If they say something to you, stand up, turn to them, acknowledge them with a polite response, but DO NOT STOP. Keep going. They won’t know what to do. They want to yell at you, but then again, who wants to say anything to someone jerking off in your presence.
Ummm… Maybe don’t do this if your kids catch you. You could go to jail for that. But any adult, just remember: keep going.
October 31st, 2009 - 12:06
This sure beats Super Mario Bros.!
October 31st, 2009 - 14:00
Jesus, what’s the big deal? Just a normal guy getting together with some internet buds to jerk off to porn together. They never touch dicks or nothing. You guys are racists!
October 31st, 2009 - 14:11
Peepoop Patel, wonderful.
November 6th, 2009 - 05:49
this was great without a doubt best story yet
November 12th, 2009 - 03:10
I don’t see what the big deal is. As it’s described, it’s entirely innocent. Just guys having fun, and no more extraordinary than my twice weekly meetups with good buds I meet on the internet, where I *** their ***s, while they *** my ***, and, with any luck, some other random dude *** to both of us, until we all collapse into a *** covered mass of writhing *** and ***s. Of course, it’s all a big put on, and we all have a good laugh. Ha Ha Ha. What a hoot!
December 20th, 2009 - 17:33
She is just angry she was not invited to join the party as the *innocent* schoolgirl which stumbles into the middle of the *party*
Hell what is wrong? It is not as if they are doing something illegal.
If they wanna play that they are schoolboys..what´s wrong?
It is not as if they let a real schoolboy join..and there are people out there who play *baby* with diaper and everthing.
Not my kind of beer but as long as no one is forced into anything who cares?
There are much more important things one should worry about
February 18th, 2010 - 04:24
My ejaculation catchphrase is “pikaCHUUUUUUUUUUUU!”